Nice Things

Nice things!

Okay so this week was tough but, also, SO much great stuff happened that made me mega joyful. Firstly I did so many new things that I’ve never done before in such a short space of time like injections, removing cannulas, administering lots of different types of medication, doing obs etc etc. I was slow and shit at most of these things but it is my first time on a hospital ward and I have 3 years to practice. To me what’s important is that I wasn’t scared, nothing put me off and I enjoyed every second of it.

I also made some lovely bonds with patients, cheesy as it is they absolutely make the job all worthwhile. Firstly a lovely gentlemen who I looked after on my first day, just before I had two weeks off for Easter, remembered me! This would be a big deal anyway but the man had pretty severe dementia and had little awareness of where he was most of the time. Today when I went over to him with my mentor, my mentor said to him ‘I'm going to let me student, Holly give you this, is that okay?’ He said ‘ow yes of course, she’s a lovely girl, I know Holly, I think I spoke to her on her first day’.  I must of looked a right pratt because I couldn't hide the massive grin on my face and my enthusiasm when I told him that he was right!

Secondly a lady I spent a lot of time with today was really sweet and grateful to me and kept telling me I’d make a brilliant nurse and telling everyone that would listen that I was her lovely nurse and how well I’d looked after her… and before you ask she was entirely mentally capable!

All the women I worked with today were terrible sweet and I was able to spend a fair bit of time really building trusting relationships which felt so lovely and I know that isn’t something that will change because I was talking to them while I carried out other tasks and I have seen how well other nurses on the ward get along with patients.

I have also seen a lot of great practice this week. You hear so many horror stories about carelessness and mistakes and rudeness that you are hardly shocked when you see it (and you do see it) but what people miss out is that there are still some nurses out there who are, excuse my language, fucking incredible at their jobs, like unbelievably good. Kind and caring, funny and interesting, engaging, thoughtful, wicked intelligent and just absolute masters and it is genuinely inspirational to see. 

outbreak 2: the virus takes Manhattan

Obviously this isn't a post about that film but it is a post about an outbreak. There has been an outbreak of norovirus on our ward and it has been a ruddy nightmare.

I had two weeks off of placement for the Easter break and the first day I got back my mentor said to me 'Oh by the way there is an outbreak of norovirus so we the ward is closed, normally you would know beforehand and you can choose whether or not to work it but..' Oh great, cheers, welcome back, me. Now obviously if I was there as an actual nurse, playing a vital role within the team and getting paid I wouldn't even consider not coming in BUT being just a student, who wouldn't be missed and who does paid work with vulnerable people outside of placement, I wouldn't of minded being informed if I'm honest.

But anyway I've been on the ward for 3 days now and haven't caught it so I think I'm in the clear! But it's been pretty crazy with it all going on. Lots of poorly people feeling even more poorly with terribleness shooting out both ends (trust me, I am giving you the polite version) and chaos rearranging the ward to accommodate. This week I worked an early(8hrs), a long day (12hrs) and an early and half (about 9.5hrs). I worked the shifts consecutively and I must admit that I found it extremely tiring. On Tuesday after my early I was full of the joys of springs and even came out and did gardening and housework before an early night, Wednesday after my long day I was pretty knackered but still upbeat and human but today I came home hungry as heck, getting in at half 5 and having not eaten since 11am (which is a bigger deal for me than most), I wolfed down my dinner and since then I have just felt like a zombie! As I write this now it is 8pm and I have come to bed and to be honest, I am just waiting until a credible enough hour to go to sleep.

I know it will get easier when shifts don't stress me out as much, when I know what I am doing and when working on the wards is my one and only focus but even so I admire even more how hard nurses and HCA's work and how much crap they have to put up with and it kind of makes me feel prouder to know that is what I am going to be.

Other things I am struggling with this week:

Fuck me my hands are dry
I have always had hands that look like they've done a hard days work but my word I swear they have aged 20 years since starting on wards, lord only knows what they'll look after 50 years of nursing.

I am thirsty all the time 

I am someone who normally carries a bottle of water around with them, literally everywhere. But on wards I cannot do this, I can't even have it sitting anywhere within easy reach and I am finding it very tough. I keep sneaking off the the kitchen to do a quick cup full of water, but I think if I do this too much they'll think of skiving and it is a genuine concern for the future.

There was also a lot of nice stuff that happened this week and I shall tell you all about it in my next blog!

Peace X 

Year 1, placement 2

Placement 2 has begun!!

I am on a hospital ward (yay!). My previous placement on an outpatient department had it's benefits, don't get me wrong, but I feel like there is so much more to learn on wards and was really jealous of everyone who got thrown in at the deep end if I'm honest.

My first shift was a 12 hour long day. I have a lot of these schedule for the next two months as they are a norm and necessity, even for a student. 12 hours is a bloody long time to be working, pretty much non stop and on your feet and it was especially intense for a first day in a new place for a student but I made it through without quitting or fainting or crying and I think that's an achievement.

I wish I could be a little more positive but it was dreadful. I didn't know what I was doing, I felt completely useless, I was knackered, my feet hurt and every second dragged. Luckily my second day was a lot better. I did an 8 hour shift and it flew by! It was extremely hectic and, at times, challenging but I enjoyed it. Hard as it was I enjoyed it, I got to talk to the patients, familiarise myself with the ward, perform a few procedures, talk with my mentor and it seemed so different than the lost zombie trotting blur that had been my first day.

I now have 2 weeks off for Easter before I go back to 24 hours a week on placement plus a few extra lessons in uni and even have a night shift booked in! Tough times ahead with more exams and coursework looming to but I am looking forward to the challenges this new term brings :)

Money Troubles

**I hope this post doesn't read aggressively but if you find it does, it is only a reflection of my frustration at the situation and a tiny bit at peoples ignorance, it is not aimed at YOU nor anyone in particular, peace and love as always**

Money troubles is a phrase most student nurses are all too familiar with. Our bursary is a pittance compared to other student funding and yet a lot more time and effort is required from us than on many other courses.

In my last post, I commented on how I hadn't worked as hard as I possibly could on my first set of essays and I would just like to clarify that that was not due to lack of caring, it was not due to laziness or over confidence but due to the fact that I had so little free time to spend reading for and writing them, The reason for that is because I have to work A LOT often not getting a day off for a few weeks straight, and that means I find it hard to put time aside to really get into essay writing or research. For me researching, reading and writing for these essays on topics that, in all honesty, don't as yet interest me very much, is tough. I don't find it something that I can do a quick 10 minutes of or dip in and out of when I have a spare evening and there's washing and ironing and cooking and cleaning and emails to do.

For being a student nurse I am paid (the maximum amount that the NHS offer students) £450 a month. That's it. My half of the rent is £450 a month. That is with nothing included no gas & electric, water, internet etc. I realise if I didn't live in Brighton then rent would be lower and that money would go further, but Brighton needs nurses too and I don't think the money would go very far even if my rent was not so expensive. Now I wouldn't object to this if we were in a position where we could secure part time work and make up the rest of our monthly expenses with a paid wage. However, we spend 1 full day in university a week and up to 32 hours out in placement. The day in uni is fixed (for the most part) but the 32 hours placement could be spread across any times and any days that each placement chooses, we get maybe 2 weeks notice if we are lucky and the days change every week, for every different placement and we are expected to work whatever they tell us to with no objections. This makes it 100% impossible to have any job with contracted hours as we are rarely available to same hours or days each week and never have much notice. That is not even considering the 16 hours per week independent study that we are supposed to be doing outside of uni and placement to support our learning. We are therefore put in a position where, unless you have a wealthy family member or partner who agrees to support you financially through your training, you HAVE to do paid work every week on top of the already hefty course load, and yet you are also put in a position where securing permanent employment is impossible.

As you can expect due to this I often work evenings after doing a full day at placement or university and always on my day/days off from the course. This means I rarely have a full day off to allocate to going to the library and getting some proper work done and I do feel it is affecting my performance on the course. I want to work, I love working but right now my priority needs to be passing these 3 years and getting the most out of my course but all I can ever think about is how I'm going to cope next month.

So basically, I reckon, the NHS need to pay student nurses more OR structure the course in a way that means we are able to hold down part time work. I would say the latter option is preferable as, of course, funding is tight and while the course would still be tough it would not be so close to impossible!!

So next time someone asks about placement and I say I'm doing 24 hours this week or if I'm only doing paid work 1 day  PLEASE don't tell me I've got it easy because I really haven't and the thing you are asking about is only one component of the many things that take up my time and energy.

RANT OVER.

P.S - We don't get regularly 'university holidays' either, yes most uni's get a month for Christmas, a month for Easter and about 2 and half months at summer with a load of reading weeks thrown in. But we get 6 weeks total and.. you guessed it, I'll be spending mine doing paid work!

First lot of exams and placement, done!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while.

I actually tried to write a post a good few times but just couldn't get into the rhythm of it. I also discovered that I am not allowed to talk about placement learning in any way that could suggests people or place (in terms of staff and department obviously I would never have divulged patient information), so with that, my original plan of summarising my view on my first placement kind of went down like a phantom poop.

But anyway I did my whole first placement, it's over now! I wish I could say more but I can't. I thought I would feel a lot better going on to my second placement and that having the first one under my belt would help me feel more confident. However, I can say as much as it was not on a hospital ward, and that means that when I do start my next placement, in that environment I am going to be completely lost and unprepared and I will no longer have the safety blanket of first placement.

Anyway essays and exams are also out of the way for a couple of months.. though I am already panicking about the next lot.
The exam and the essays were polar opposites in how difficult/challenging they were. The exam was ludicrously easy, I got 100% and suspect that everyone on my course did too, it boiled down to basic maths and logic and was in a very casual environment, I even arrived early and the man running the exam said I could go in and start as long as I didn't mind people walking in while I was working, and I didn't so I did. I had finished the exam before it was even scheduled to begin!
The essays on the other hard I found really difficult. In all honesty after submitting them I did say that they absolutely were not my best work, I know I could of put more effort in so I couldn't really expect a good mark. However I think even if I had worked that bit harder I still would of found them challenging. I feel really constricted by the way essays for degree must be written, with a reference supporting every other sentence, and a justification to why your reference is relevant. I completely get it and understand the importance of it, I've just always been more of the creative than academic type and want to kind of flow with artistic and articulated ideas but have to hold that back and just try and be intelligent and well read... and I fear that I am neither. However I passed and that is really all that matters first year and it has gotten me back into understand higher education and I hope to be better prepared for the next essay!

Onward and upward :)

Essay writing

Christmas Holidays 2014

Sorry for the lack of posting but if you didn't notice, Christmas happened!

I had told myself I was going to fully embrace having the time off from uni over Christmas and not book any paid work for the 2 weeks we had off. This did not happen. I didn't quite enjoy the holidays in the way that I had planned as I had to work a fair amount, so I am saying now that NEXT year I will try again to at least have less work over the Christmas period.

However! I did get 5 days off from Christmas Day until the 29th of December which is more than I have had in the past few years. So I was very grateful for some time off.

This year we (we being me and my boyfriend Steve) decided to spend Christmas Day and Boxing Day with Steve's mum and family in Liverpool. This was quite a big deal because firstly; it was the first Christmas Day me and Steve would spend together ever (even though we've been together 8 years) and secondly, because it would be the first Christmas I would spend away from my family since my mum passed away. So, as you can imagine, I had mixed feelings in the anticipation of Christmas this year. However, I had had a lovely December seeing friends and family and packed quite a lot in, so I was satisfied with Christmas 2014 before the actual day which made me feel better going in.

I found it tough, as I knew I would, being away from my family and unexpectedly tough having a Christmas Day that did not follow the laws of Christmas that I had been used to for 24 years! I had a small heart attack, in fact, and almost sobbed on the spot when someone announced 'it's snowing!' ( a reaction I never dreamed I would have to snow at Christmas) because it crossed my mind that I may not get down to Essex to see my family. But, fear ya not, the snow did not persist or settle enough to stop us in tracks!

I have often felt like a bit of a black sheep in my family but after spending a few days with another family I felt SO at home in the company of mine. I think I possibly enjoyed it more than I would of, had I just spent the entire time there as it really made me grateful for how at ease I am with all of them, how we are similar in ways I never would of thought and made me realize how much I love and appreciate every last one of them. Don't get me wrong Steve's family are wonderful and make me feel as welcome as humanly possible it was just so different to what I have always known as Christmas. (I may write a full post on this as it fascinated me how different Christmas can be in different house holds).

I DID NOT get ANY essay writing done, which I am a little regretful of now, and will no doubt hate myself for, come mid January!

I actually wrote this cheeky lil Christmas entry to get my fingers flowing a bit so I can do a bit of work on my essays now so.. see you!

Christmas gave me a lot of time to ponder so I will probably write a few blog entries this month, also it's a great way to put off essay writing so TTFN ya'll